this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
