But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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