As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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