But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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