Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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