Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
this is an emotional support booty call
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
