I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
