i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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