Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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