I just made out with a guy for $7.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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