You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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