i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
