..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
