i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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