I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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