So gin and wine won't be happening again
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
