PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
