Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
