you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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