i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
