redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
