Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
