He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
