I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
