Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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