PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
