There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
