I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
