I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
