he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
