the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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