The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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