Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
