and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
it hurts more in the daytime
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
