wrigley field is MILF paradise
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
