can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
