who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
