I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Boobs are out for the taking
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
