No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i think i have herpe
just one?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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