Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
