Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
