Sponge bath it is.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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