Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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