i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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