I just threw up on my dentist
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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