I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
