dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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