I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
