You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
