Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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