UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
