if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
