Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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